Maybe COVID has us philosophizing more than normal, inspecting our lives with a newly honed internal eye. The importance of relationships glimmer within my looking glass. What nurtures them and what breaks them apart? In my analysis, judgement is an enemy to relationship building. Judgement is a barrier to the full disclosure of one’s thoughts and feelings to those where it feels unsafe to share.
There are those who are okay to be judged, hanging their opinions on the line for all passers by to see. A man recently laid out his “coffee thoughts” on Facebook and ended it with something to the effect of this will clear up his friend list. We see judgement every day with political posts! Then there are those of us who are sensitive and protect our hearts, afraid of being hurt when taking the risk to really share.
I struggle with judgement in that I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end as well as the “judger,” insisting that we all judge. We all decide what is good or bad, right or wrong, acceptable or not. I argue that it is what we do with our judgement that matters. Do we use it to cast stones, or to raise people up? Can we just sit with it, working to share disclosures in a thoughtful, receivable way, when required to? And there lays another key to life…when are we required to share? When we are a mom or dad worried for our child? A concerned friend? An enemy? What is the tipping point from thoughtful to hurtful?
As with any life puzzle piece, I don’t know where it fits in the grand scheme of things, yet am sure that we all need to focus on our relationships, protecting them from judgement while being true to ourselves.
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